Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-02-13

  • I hit on women with a sketch I did of them bleeding to death, explaining “This is what happens if you don’t come with me.” God, I’m lonely. #
  • @rstevens My Roomba snapped a sweeper bit while choking on Goomba toy that fell on the floor. I hope your Roomba god is out there. in reply to rstevens #
  • Some movies, like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, should be released simultaneously with their RiffTrax counterpart. So much more watchable #
  • @robertpopper Audio Hijack works for me. http://tinyurl.com/6km4h in reply to robertpopper #
  • Got my tea, my David Attenborough docs in the bg (he’s hassling some birds), and my Final Cut Pro open. No sleep til..well…final cut. #
  • I want you all to channel your hopes and dreams towards my completing the sound editing on this thing today. Also, give me all your money. #
  • The first hopes and dreams are starting to trickle in, and I’m beginning to regret my request. Collectively, they smell of human sewage. #
  • Update: It is human sewage. #
  • @cunch I feed only on dark mater pies, shit out of the infinite void, baked in the heartless vacuum of unfeeling horror. Thanks though. in reply to cunch #
  • @cunch Oh. Did I mention that I only eat dark matter pies made with crusts shat out by ZORGOS OF THE UNDYING NOTHINGNESS? Yeah. in reply to cunch #
  • @cunch Yeah. Why? is that weird? You’re making me paranoid about eating things shat forth from the howling pitch. Stop it. in reply to cunch #
  • No, I was not at the New York Comicon. #
  • Not this year. Not in human form, anyhow. #
  • I’ll tell you what I’m working on so long as it all fits within Twitter’s restrictive single post word-count limits. Okay..here goes. It’s #
  • Ah well. #
  • Still one of my favorite, revoltingly sad boss fights in all of gamedom. You kill him out of disgusted sympathy: http://tinyurl.com/bmhykd #
  • 3:29. Done with Soundtrack file for the night. Hyper as fuck after sitting all day. I’ve launched straight up through the roof into space #
  • I leave Los Angeles in tacky, soulless flames as I explode out and upward, sipping on Genmaicha, munching a biscuit. Faster! Higher! #
  • Monstrous OCD makes me wonder if I locked my door despite the door and everything for miles being obliterated. Fuck it. To the moon! #
  • I am determined to recreate Outrun in real life. No Ferrari, but I painted a stolen Volkswagon Rabbit red with some poster paints. SWEET. #
  • I’m out on a palm tree lined road, so that’s checked off. Now, to find some blond floozie. I see one leaving an El Pollo Loco. I strike! #
  • Blond floozie with a head injury slumped comfortably in passenger seat. Magical Sound Shower on the tape deck and I’m ready to go! #
  • Bothered by the cops coming up behind me. This isn’t Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit. Don’t they understand? Blond is screaming. #
  • First long bend ahead! I start my slide, but slam into a guard rail. Why isn’t my VW Rabbit powersliding cartoonishly? It’s all so wrong. #
  • The blond is ruining the illusion by screaming for help and coughing up blood from her crushed innards. The police are firing at me now. #
  • A correction about a VW from an actual German! Thanks @heyoboy . Now SHUT THE FUCK UP, you pedantic bastard! I’m trying to drive here! #
  • Tried bouncing off a slowpoke on the curve, but lost control. Rabbit is flipping, but not at all whimsically! Oh, god…Oh sweet holy god. #
  • Sliding upside down. I’m alright, but the blond’s head is leaving a crimson streak like she’s suddenly a wet magic marker. Oh, dear god. #
  • I put on my headphones and play Splash Wave, fleeing from the burning wreckage and vapid gore. Gotta ditch the cops. #
  • Home safe, but disturbed by the fact that only one person seems to know what I’m talking about. It’s like that Thinner thing all over again #
  • @cunch Half never left the jar, emitting a worried “boop” and crashing with a dreaded BSOD, diminishing his nefarious philanthropic intent. in reply to cunch #
  • @cunch Tiny screens. in reply to cunch #
  • Could this be my final night working on this thing? I pray to the animal spirit of editing, the Final Cuttlefish Pro, that it is. #
  • One week out of warranty and my 360 has the not quite AS dreaded but still godawful E74, quarter-ring of death. Wonderful. #
  • 11 hours into broken 360. The Wii tries to cheer me up by making cookies, but accidentally gets trapped in the oven. The PS3 just stares. #
  • Wii is recovering in it’s usual place, stuffed under a cabinet. The PS3 has generated a hot apple pie from nothingness to mask the smell. #
  • The Wii, muffled, cries, begging me to play yet another Mario Kart, or something where Mario eats a sandwich part 8. PS3 goes for a smoke. #
  • PS3 comes back in, its cold shark eyes shining. “Want I should cut him?” it says, gesturing with a knife towards the Wii. I think on it. #
  • Even the DS pipes in with “Fuck that voice-chatless gimp!”, taking a tiny/huge crap for emphasis. PSP covers it’s mouth and nose. #
  • The room is silenced by an ancient, phlegmy voice, obviously drunk. “Shut the FUCK up. I’m playing California Games, you CUNTS.” #
  • It’s my Atari Lynx, the original, huge one, rattling around in the box that has been its tomb for ages. #
  • Recalling how much more faithful the Lynx version of Ninja Gaiden was than that NES one, I ask everyone to please just settle down. #
  • @vacant_stare I was a goddamned wizard with the surfing portion. Not so hot at the rest. in reply to vacant_stare #
  • @enicolle That’s one of the systems I never had! I envied my friend’s possession of R-type until I got it for the Master System. in reply to enicolle #
  • Never owned a Neo Geo, Virtual Boy, Wonder Swan, N-Gage, Jaguar, Turbo Express, or Game Gear Either. I DID have a Nomad, though. #
  • Nomad was for the sole purpose of playing Ghouls’ n’ Ghosts, and Sub Terrania on the go for the 5 minutes the batteries lasted. #
  • @enicolle You should have google info on whether or not Abobos live in your neighborhood before moving there. in reply to enicolle #
  • @enicolle Because I left the “ed” off of Googled there, I want you to read that last message in a caveman voice, alright? in reply to enicolle #
  • @enicolle Psst. Just don’t stand on the same 2-dimensional plane as Abobo, man. He won’t be able to hit you! in reply to enicolle #
  • I’m getting better at reaching through the glass of your windows without breaking it. No worries, though. #
  • Not able, yet, to pull anyone back through without their faces smashing the glass to pieces, however, ruining the coolness factor. #
  • Sometimes, when pulling my arm back out, it’s like pulling my arm out of a sleeve, leaving a hollow copy of my arm on the other side. #
  • Copy arms fill up with flesh and bone to immediately hide and act as spies. Not quite a fly on the wall, just about as useful. #
  • Alright, 5000 followers now. Is that enough to change the world yet? No? Goddammit. #
  • Life’s Real Time Strategy, kids. Sorry to say that some of you are cannon fodder for a first assault. A sorta Zerg Rush, if you will. #
  • We’ve enough creep to build upon now, and there’s no sense letting all our forces go to waste. #
  • @michaelk42 I’ll never have that broad, “cat wearing things” appeal. That’s the harsh truth. in reply to michaelk42 #
  • @enicolle Oh…SHIT, Batman. Prepare to know the face of the god of bad awesome. in reply to enicolle #
  • Brainstorming some uniforms for the lot of you. The “zerglings” need not worry about them, as you’ll be so much mulch soon anyhow. #
  • Currently brushing up on the ol’ Illustrator skills by inking a truly terrible hybrid drawing that I did with @cunch #