A few weeks back, when I mentioned that some recent work was going to be available first at the San Diego Comicon, a number of organized types asked if I would myself be attending said convention, hoping to figure out their travel arrangements accordingly.
I will, in fact, be in attendance at varying times Friday through Sunday. Sure, this information comes just mere days before the con, but I’m doing my part to keep the channels of communication alive, dig?
Continue reading
When I’m feeling down, and nothing seems to be going my way, there are few things anyone can do to lift my spirits.  Most friends know not to try unless they dig having burning pea-soup style vomit spewed all over them, like in that scene with the priest exorcising the demons from whatserface in that movie, ‘Annie’. Â
But there are some things that work: People in animal mascot costumes getting hurt to the point of unconsciousness, not at all convincing fake bodies in movies standing in for real people, and the little doodles people draw in the corners and edges of their sketchbooks that are usually way more interesting than the main attractions.
And then there’s this. Â This… indescribable sonic dagger you hear before you. Â No idea where it came from originally, but J.R. Goldberg passed it along to me long ago after receiving it from a dying uncle who swore listening to the song granted you magic powers, or killed you seven days after listening to it or something. Â Not sure which.
I hope you feel better now. Â Or dead.
Â
Woah there, Clickiford! Before you hit play on that lil’ video there, indulge me a moment and hear the tale of my finding it.
INT. THE STORYTELLING ROOM – NIGHT
JHONEN sits next to a warm fire, the wire mesh over the fireplace keeping the wee children from shambling into the dangerous flame should they tire of his meandering tales, while simultaneously keeping the lesser of the young ones from escaping the unimaginable death that being trapped in the fireplace means. The smell of-
Okay, nevermind the screenplay format. Moving on…
So a friend is over, and I’m showing them the latest version of Piclens in Firefox.  They’re oohing and ahhing, because Piclens is just pretty great, and I’m feeling like Prometheus giving fire to the humans so they can start disfiguring themselves horribly in countless attempts to impress their friends by lighting fireworks in their anuses.  So, in Piclens, I do a search for “baby goats”, having recently watched ‘The Story of the Weeping Camel’, and you can never really get enough baby goats, and a hideous preview image of a man in a tub of shit, or blood, or bloody shit doing something questionable to Alf scrolls in, impressively mind you, thanks to the effects in Piclens, and we start watching it, just as you are about to do…now.
Now, here’s the thing…just a few seconds into watching it, I clicked on the icon to view it on the actual youtube page, which through some funny behavioral quirk, gave me two tabs both playing the same video. Â The entire time, unbeknownst to me, Â the audio is doubling up turning this masterpiece of dirty clownage into a haunting nightmare soundscape that silenced me for way too long, looking over my shoulder wondering if maybe someone had slipped me something at the Ramen place earlier in the night (you know how those Japanese chefs are). Â Anyhow, to literally double the impact this video has, I suggest you open up two instances of it in individual tabs, and start playing both slightly out of sync. Â
I imagine that viewing the video in this fashion simulates the way kids who start fires in churches experience the universe.
(Update: Â Looks like the video got pulled thanks to a certain lack of appreciate of the finer things in life by the Youtube folks, so do try to enjoy the rest of the equally lovely work to be found on GOATWORSHIP’s page. )
Â
If you happen to be in Toronto on the 31st of this very month of July, try to check out the opening reception of Zoetica Ebb’s solo show of her works at Plastik Wrap.  Can’t make it for the reception?  No worries, as the show runs until the 31st of whatever month follows July these days.  I can never keep track, what with all the shifts in reality I’ve been experiencing, “sliding” if you will, into alternate realities, not unlike in that show about the fat kid from Stand By Me who “slid” through alternate realities, ‘CSI: Miami’.
Would you believe that lil’ feller pictured here is the result of an unholy union between man and beast? Â No? Â Well, then I want back all that stuff you borrowed. Â
Eliza Gauger painted that little guy, entitled ‘Bat Smax’ and is selling prints over at Etsy. All proceeds go towards powering the magnet that holds back the deadly shrapnel in her chest threatening to pierce her heart, just like in that movie, ‘Bratz’. Â
As for how the thing came to be, well that’s the part I was getting to at the start before you acted like such a cretin and doubted me.  See, one day, Gauger was sketching a little winged critter in her sketchbook, and being the respectful type I am famous for being, I snatched the book, said something along the lines of “Argghhlllbargh!” and did a quick revision of  the same drawing, altering some of the angles, curves and overall proportions.  She then took that image and turned it into the fine painted thing it is today.  The result was essentially an abominable hybrid of two minds, creating a nightmare fusion of her artwork and my bastardry.  The rest, as they say, is on sale.  Please, have a heart, and save hers.
Â
