Deathmatch: Das Concludin’s

 

Poor Clancy.

Thanks everyone who submitted to my will and to the first Deathmatch extravaganza. A few of you made it in too late, and to be fair will be shot in neck and left out of this particular contest, but there’s always next time.

Learned a lot, actually, from the the results of the guidelines I set out, not the least of which is the fact that a disturbing percentage of you don’t seem to fathom the concept of guidelines, so next time the rules will be even more heinous and defined, allowing for even less of the filth

to pass through the quality filters. Pretty cool, huh? I think so, too. That’s all to be fine tuned in the future, but one thing I know for certain is that no one will be allowed to send in photographs of drawings. I swear, I got so many entries that looked like they were drawn on binder paper between remedial classes and then photographed with the free camera phone that came with their parents’ family plan that I could fill an entire other flickr set with them. No more of that, you you chintzy bastards.

But I gotta say, it’s a pretty decent haul, all in all, and it’ll actually be pretty tough to pick winners. I have a few people pleading to be part of the post mortem mutilation of some of the worst of the worst, so even deciding that will be a bit of a trick.

For those who haven’t checked out all the entries, or those who have done so but just can’t get enough punishment, go HERE to enjoy fine Bigfoot renderings.

UNTIL THE FUTURE!

Pig Demons and Pigeon Men and Cookie Fiends…Oh My!

Friends (in name only), when I say “Chumble Spuzz“, I hope the very mention results in you losing control of all bodily functions, screaming in agony as the laughter tears through you even hours later as you shower the unspeakable soup of your own filth from your lower half.  I hope this is the effect those words have on you because that means you’re already familiar with comic book of that very name, the book that, for those of you who haven’t read it, you should be making every possible effort to get your hands on at all costs.

Exhibit A


Continue reading →

Deathmatch update #2

Listen and read with your eyes and brains, please.

Include the text from the twitter you are illustrating IN THE EMAIL.  That means write it WITH YOUR FINGERS on the keyboard you are, theoretically, using to send your emails for someone to easily copy and paste into the Flickr page.  You can write it on your actual artwork, but that’s not what including the text in the email means, and really, more often than not writing it in your artwork looks terrible and makes all the other people think you eat soup with your hands.

People are actually writing in confused as to how to include their name in or as the file name of their artwork for easy crediting in the Flickr page.  This would likely involve simply changing the file name in your computer or saving the file as whatever it is you are capable of dreaming your name to be as your file name.  If this is still confusing to those out there facing this problem, then you need to buy those cd sets where the bald guy keeps begging you to “Try my product.  Please…try my product.  For the love of GOD, TRY MY PRODUCT I SLEEP WITH THE MURDERED CORPSE OF MY WIFE TRY MY PRODUCT!” and teaches you such valuable skills as turning on your computer, turning OFF your computer, telling people you have seen a computer, approaching computers at social events, extinguishing the flames from your body after trying to “print a document”, and so on.

A lot of the submissions appear to be drawn on toilet paper and then photographed with a 1.5 megapixel phone cam.  No rules against that at all, but it does reveal you as being a horrible, unwashed person.

There was a bigfoot comic that was submitted early on, and got lost in the great folder disaster of ’08. Hoping it shows up again.  Very glad the cockroach parked like a car one showed up again.

Just so you know, a couple of us here at Question Sleep Headquarters are planning on critiquing the submissions in a post-mortem extravaganza.  It’s going to be terrible.  

 

TRY MY PRODUCT!

Deathmatch update, y’see?

Deathmatch #1 

Well, the Flickr is up, and a few submissions are there, but there’s a bit of a problem, and a few of you who have submitted might notice that you’re submission is not up for all the world to behold, celebrate or mock enthusiastically.

The biggest reason is that some of the earlier emails with the links to your submissions were deleted thanks to a smart folder and its hatred of both fine and hideous art.  The submissions started coming in the day the contest started, but everything up to the 6th of August has been wiped, so please resend your pieces.  Some pretty cool stuff has been lost, as well as stuff that made the cool stuff look even more amazing, so get that stuff back here.

Beyond that, some of the submissions were left out simply because you didn’t follow the rules, the most common being the exclusion of the text of the Twitter post that inspired the piece. 

Here’s a few additions or clarifications that will help out as far as sending stuff from now on.

• Really, REALLY include the text of the post from Twitter

• Include the name you wish to be credited by in the file name itself

• Flash animations aren’t quite part of this challenge, but it might be fun for a future one

• Go ahead and attach the files from now on, just in case something terrible happens

• Some of you have to try even harder to iron out the anime look to your stuff.  Everyone’s staring at you

• If you uploaded images to a site that requires registration to view them, upload them somewhere else or just send them directly.

Until the future…