DEATHMATCH #1 IS OVER.  DO NOT SUBMIT NEW ENTRIES.

As you may or may not know, when I’m not screaming at people in person, gesticulating dangerously, about how I am a creator of magic and wonders the likes of which mankind has never before seen, when not slaving over my drawing desk or computerized workstation of the future actually generating said wonders, when I’m not sobbing, face in hands,  from the crushing horror of my reality when said wonders have been unleashed to a resounding response of “Ur boots r so kewl where you get thme?” and “DO U LIEK CHEEZ?”, I like to gather the world’s greatest fighters and pit them against one another in cruel and bloody mortal combat.

If you recall, last year was the year of the Ham Beast, a time of great upheaval, a restructuring in the accepted order of things in which an elite race of readers emerged and made it known that there are creatures possessed of great skill and mastery of craft, a breed of reader capable of great and powerful things like some really cool drawings of a naked man with a burning reactor in his gut to process aged hams.

So it’s time, once again, to cast out the moss encrusted net of challenge, to haul up a grotesque mass of writhing, chitinous horrors and charge them with this task: To create.  To win!

Here’s the deal: With the Ambush at Prayer Time posters coming out pretty soon, it’s the perfect time to watch some people claw over one another’s fresh corpses in the noble endeavor to win some terrible prizes.  See?  it’s already better than that horrible ham demon bullshit.

• First Prize – Ambush poster plus the two new Fillerbunny shirts
• Second Prize – Ambush poster plus one of the new Fillerbunny shirts
• Third Prize – Ambush poster and a crippling punch to the head
• Last Prize – Possessions you already own are taken from you.  Violently.

“But what do I have to do, you monster?” you gurgle. Its simple. This time around, all you have to do is illustrate one single post from the Twitter account I use. Simple! Oh, my god it’s so fucking simple it makes me want to hurt you! Just pick any single post, from the most recent to the very first one, and then pull it screaming into visual reality using whatever illustrative means you’ve got.

Pretty straightforward, but there ARE some rules, because I’m a fascist pig, dig, and I like watching you dance for me. DANCE FOR ME! Okay, enough dancing.

1. Deadline is August 31.
2. UPDATE – Don’t make me sick of my own face than I already am. Even though most of those posts are written from my POV, DO NOT draw me as the subject of your drawings as I have Bodysnatchaphobia, and panic whenever anything looks like it is trying to become me.
3. Submissions should be sent to mr.scolex@questionsleep.com with the subject “Deathmatch” for easier filtering. In the mail, include the date and time the post was made, as well as a quote with the entire tweet.
4. UPDATE: Include the name you wish to be credited by in the file name itself.
5. Keep it as original as you can. I know a lot of you like drawing the ol’ manga/anime style, and I dig some anime as much as the next guy, but if the submission just disappears behind a haze of indistinct cookie cutter anime parts, then it’s likely to be overshadowed by something with a bit more of an individual approach.
6. Posts on Twitter that are simply links to this Question Sleep page don’t count, so don’t illustrate any of the bloated, overly long posts that were linked to here from there.
7. UPDATE:  Short comic format is fine.  Some of those tweets are tiny stories, so go ahead and tell the story in one or a few panels.  Keep it fairly short, though.
8. UPDATE:  Submit as many pieces as you want, so long as you’re not just crapping them out.  And if you’re crapping them out, make them amazing.  So far most of the submissions are on the “amusingly terrible” side, so take your time and put some effort into it, you goddamn slobs.
9. Don’t draw like me – It’s worse than anime.

That’s all there is to it! Easy as breathing, yeah? *

Submissions will be uploaded to Flickr as they start coming in.

*apologies to those in iron lungs.