Category Archives: Appearances

COMICON ’09 DAY 1: I’ve gone on holiday by mistake.

From my sniper's nest

From my sniper's nest

I killed a man today.

More importantly, I got in to San Diego to attend this year’s San Diego Comicon, the biggest, most terrifying comics (and by comics I mean video games, movies toys and black magic) convention this side of the boopa doopy.  I actually have no idea if it’s the biggest or not, so I through in the very vague “boopa doopy” there instead of something more specific that would require me to do any research.  Tricks of the trade, friends.  Tricks of the trade.

I’d love to tell you that these updates for the next few days will be as life-altering for you as the ones from when I attended the Supanova convention in Australia, but to be honest, things here are a lot less alien and therefore far less interesting.  I mean, in Australia, I was a child gazing in wonder at very single thing around me.  Did you know they don’t even walk there?   How do you go through 67 years of life like I have and never find out that Australians just squish around on slug-like lower halves until you’re there amidst a sea of the slimy bastards just mushing around you, slapping you on the back and shouting “Well done!” for no reason I could ever figure out.

I also got to write about all those celebrities that I was packed in with for the rides to and from the convention halls, a surreal experience that allowed me to have such adventures as being attacked by Katee Sackhoff and exorcising the midget that was powering Hayden Panetierre, releasing him from his tiny hell-prison.  I have to admit, as strange as it was, I’m going to miss being driven about all over the place in those uniquely Australian buses with the treads made of Koala bears all working together.

No, this is me, back in The States, yawning at everyone with their stupid legs and neckbeards, having to drive myself around in a car not at all conveyed by small animals, but don’t let that stop you from tuning in obsessively to find out what new boring things I’ve been up to here in San Diego.

Today, Wednesday,  was just the preview night, so I got to wander around without having to stick to any signing schedule or anything (that’s for tomorrow).  Hate to say it, but it really was pretty uneventful compared to what you’d expect of me.  I did get to talk to a few people that I had been meaning to say hi to. Andrew Bell gave me one of his O-No Sushis, which was quite nice of him.  People giving you stuff is always a dicey, nervous thing for me, as I’m always very happy to know someone’s being so generous with something of theirs, but I get uncomfortable about possibly letting on that I think this thing they’re giving me is terrible or something.  In this case, I think I did just fine, but, just between you and me, when I got the thing back to my hotel room and tried eating it, I almost chocked on the fucking thing.  How does this guy have the nerve to call himself a chef?  I was furious.

One weird thing did happen, however.  I was chatting with McFrontalot ( a lot of people think it’s “MC” as in Em-Cee, because of his career, but it’s actually McFrontalot, like McDonalds) and I noticed that the conversation was just completely generic.  We had been going on for a few minutes and the nature of the conversation was just so small talky and vague that I realized he had no idea who he was talking to.  Worse than that, he couldn’t take my eyes off my tits, and that’s when I realized that I had enormous breasts.  It all came back to me!  I wasn’t Slavegirl Leia at all, I had just dressed up as her so as to be able to walk around the convention without having to stop and do that dance that I’m famous for.  Noticed there was a plastic surgery place nearby while driving in, and I had them install some knockers that I could just slide in and out of the skin pockets that formed naturally as I was growing up.

McFront

McFront

Well, I’m tired.  Was a long day of wandering around the convention and then walking the streets to make a few bucks from a couple of a sick perverts.  Tomorrow will be a lot more exciting.

Bioshock 2 Print: The Sisters

Helmet/furnace combo never really caught on.
So, I’ll be signing at the 2K Games booth (#5033) on Saturday July 25th from 2-4 PM at the San Diego Comicon. I did a lil print for Bioshock 2 not too long ago, and it looks like they just unveiled the thing.

2K will have 500 of these on hand for people that squish their way through the crowds at Comicon to pick one up.

Go look at the image and read all about it over at their Cult of Rapture site!

San Diego Comicon 2009 Information

Bloop

Bloop

So I’m going to the San Diego Comicon later this month, right, and I’m thinking “Hey, maybe some people would want to know that I’m going and how to find me during official times.”  Then the guy that I’m looking at while speaking this out loud asks me if I’m going to order anything because I’m holding up the line and there a re a shit-ton of people behind me at two in the morning who really want doughnuts.

This past year wasn’t really spent working on things that I can show, however,  so I had my reservations about going.  What the hell sort of stuff HAVE I been working on, you might ask, probably in an incredibly tactless manner thanks to your having been raised by a computer that never taught you how to interact with flesh and blood human beings outside of a webcam situation.  Well, I won’t get into much of that in this post, so maybe I’ll save that mess for later.  I can’t even tell you right now what small thing I have that ultimately made me feel not so bad about going this year.  Everything’s very mysterious, kids.  Ah, well…maybe that other stuff will pop up sooner or later.

Anyhow, CLICK HERE to see  the schedule for when I’ll be signing at the SLG booth.  Keep an eye on that page because my signing times might change!
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Supanova 9? 10? I dunno…Just fuckin’ kill me.

It's a'meee.  A morbidly obese, unshaven man!

It's a'meee. A morbidly obese, unshaven man!

Sorry about the slowing down of these updates, but I’m not one of those people that works well when all they want to do is just melt into the earth and die a quiet, peaceful death.

Actually, what’d be cooler is to just bore into the ground at a fantastic speed, having just waved to the people around you and spoken something along the lines of, enjoy the rest of your now very short lives, you Nazi fuckfaces!”  (In this scenario, I’m the last person not infected by some kind of virus that turns everyone into Nazis).  Upon reaching the Earth’s core, I detonate myself, as I am inherently a plutonium construct from…eh…Pluto, blowing the planet apart, killing everyone and everything still breathing and simply being on the planet.

But enough philosophy…
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Supanova 7: Electric Boogaleven

I've done...terrible things.

I've done...terrible things.

So here’s a thing I didn’t know.

Dana Snyder, the man who gives his voice to the character of Master Shake on Aqua Teen Hunger Force, is here at the Supanova convention.  That part I did know, so don’t go walking away, clapping your hands, satisfied at learning that little bit of information.  He attended the Melbourne one as well, but we didn’t have a lot of interaction, just solemn nods from across the room.

I ran into Snyder and the some of the Aqua crew down in the hotel lobby around noon today as I was on my way to hunt for sustenance in Brisbane’s revoltingly muggy atmosphere.  Seeing them waiting for the elevator, I joined with them to go in search of foods upon which to feast.

Okay, now here’s the thing that I learned:

Dana Snyder is not just the perfect person to play Master Shake, he’s THE person to play him.  For the entire walk Snyder was going off on a Shake-style rant about Australia and who knows what else, and it was funny.  Funny, up until we sat down to eat.

Nobody else seemed upset by Snyder’s refusal to STOP talking in the character of Master Shake, so I figured they were just a pretty tight, very creative group who were always working up new material (A thing I could certainly understand, seeing the unhappy faces of visitors to my social group who have no clue what we’re going on about).  Over the course of the meal, the thing that I realized was that Snyder wasn’t playing Master Shake, he thought he really was Master Shake.

And that’s when I got scared.

It turns out Snyder was a homeless man that Aqua Teen’s creators had to walk past on the streets while dreaming up the show.  Not unlike Jello Biafra extending a humanitarian hand to Wesley Willis, giving him the opportunity to be the rock star he always knew he was, The Aqua guys pulled the filthy, clearly mad Snyder from his ratshit-caked tent put him in the recording booth where his natural talent punched through his calamitous stench.  Master Shake was born, and for that we’re all thankful.

But the guy’s fucking insane, and I was terrified to be sitting next to him where once I was thrilled to be hanging with what I thought was a comedy genius.  He’d go from doing a hilarious bit of “Shakey” dialogue, with the other guys madly writing it all down for later use, to punching the kebabs on our plates with his enormous fists, smashing plate and all, screaming at the top of his lungs in foreign tongues.  From that he’d just start crying, a broken thing slumping in his chair.  I marveled at how nobody else was phased by this, this thing which must be commonplace to them, but what to me was like trying to enjoy a relaxing meal next to a hulking Chuck E Cheese robot programmed by a lunatic child.

It was a thing of awe and dreadful panic, and I’m lucky to have choked down enough of my meal before the plate and everything on it was obliterated by another barrage of those awful, pounding fists.

Pick up some Aqua Teen dvd’s by the way.  Good stuff.  Carl’s the best.

Tonight’s the opening ceremony thing for the Brisbane Supanova, so I’ve got to head off to that in a few minutes.  If you’re planning on showing up, please bring a rocket pack because I am dying to go home and get back to my game consoles, and maybe my work.  Sure.

Anyhow, I’ll write a bit more after this thing tonight.  Exciting?