Category Archives: Appearances

There’s a Con for Invaders, ya know?

Did you know there was a convention dedicated to INVADER ZIM going on soon?  I had heard about INVADERCON last year but didn’t really imagine it being a real thing, more like one of those bazillions of stories I hear about things I’m somewhat connected to only with absolutely no basis in reality.  As it got closer to 2011 it became more and more obvious that it was actually happening and was actually snatching up a few guest appearance from actors, writers and crew like Richard Horvitz, Andy Berman, Rikki Simons and Kevin Manthei, with a special appearance by one of the janitors that would come in at night and clean up all the food that we’d just let fall from our mouths when we were done eating.
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Know my San Diego Comicon 2010 plans.

IT'S THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!

*UPDATED*

This upcoming convention marks my 900th appearance at the San Diego Comicon, and to commemorate this I shall be sitting and signing things for a change.

If you plan on attending this year’s event, and are hoping to have me sign things things in dead silence while I stare down at the table recalling everything that went so so wrong, then this post is for you!

Here’s what you gotta know:
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INVADER…oh my god…ZIM Fuuhhhh…FACT #14

I eat too many somethings.

My stomach!  Oh god why did I eat so much pizza?  What the hell was I thinking?

After the con today, we went to a pizza place in the Fremont  district here in Seattle…a place called Kylie’s.  Landry Walker (so called for his crazy habit of walking and not getting everywhere by unicycle like everyone else) told us that it was a kind of offshoot of Little Star Pizza, my favorite pizza joint in San Francisco.

Well, the pizza was great and all, but maybe too great.  I couldn’t stop eating it.

“JHONEN, PLEASE STOP EATING IT!” was the cry coming from everyone in my group, as well as from strangers sitting at other tables and some of the wait staff.

I just laughed at them and kept going, slice after fat, Chicago-style slice.  “You guys should just calm down!” I’d yell back, giggling through a mouth full of dough.

“AAHHAHHAHHAHHAHH!  AAAAAAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHHH!!!!”, I’d go, eyes watering at how stupid they were all being, their faces no longer laughing along with me, now growing more and more upset as they watched me grab for another slice.

An hour later, I wasn’t laughing anymore, but I was still eating.  I was eating and crying and though my hands and mouth went right on in getting more and more pizza into me, my eyes pleaded with the room to stop me, to stop this mockery of a pizza feast.

“H…help me.  Help me to be human.”, I chewed.  By that point, nobody dared go near me.  I was a monster to them, a thing that defied logic and abhorred the natural way of things.

I was beyond salvation.

I don’t even understand how that much pizza got into me when I only have so much stomach room.  It’s…oh fuck…sweet christ.  Alright…it’s passed.  Felt like I was going to throw up just then.  Okay…It’s like the pizza began bypassing my full stomach and was being routed to other, non-digestive tract parts of my body like my calves and elbows or something.  I think that’s what must have happened…yeah.  Yeah, when I mush myself around in those places I can feel pizza in there.

Okay…I’m gonna make it through this.  Just…just don’t look at me while I do it, okay?  You’re making these incredibly uncomfortable faces as you watch me struggle and claw at my guts.  That sick look on your face is going to just push me over the edge and…oh fuck…oh fuck…
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INVADER ZIM Fact #13

Stop reading before you get to the bear stuff.

Man, are you lucky. My travels have settled down a bit and I’ve got more time to make this entry a bit more up to par with what you’ve grown spoiled on and used to. Sometimes, and understandably so, I really wish I could just trade places with you that I might experience the way your heart beats a bit faster and your eyes light up at the prospect of me delivering yet another spoonful of this magic stuff I’m doling out, injecting directly into your heart with a syringe forged in the fire of MT. AWESOME.

Before I get into today’s quality fact infusion, I’ve a few things I want to mention before I do. As you all know, I’m currently in Seattle for the Emerald City Comicon. You probably also know that I am drinking some green tea, wearing only my writing robe, looking down upon the city from up high in my hotel room. I’m looking back on a day of wondrous sights and profound conclusions arrived at. Let me share with you, my ugly children, a few of these things.
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INVADER ZIM Fact #10

If you are reading this message then it means that I am already dead.

I’ve my suspicions who who might have done me in, but this is neither the time nor place to get into that.

I’ll be dead for a couple of days, it looks like, and the afterlife apparently looks like Seattle where I’m attending the Emerald City Comicon and Discount Shoe Expo.  It should be a fine time on my end as I love any opportunity to hang around in Seattle, living in L.A like I do.  Having two shit-covered gorillas drag me out of bed and punch me repeatedly against an elephant’s ass until I fold and get mashed all the way up and in would be a damn fine getaway from L.A, but Seattle’s all the joy of that encounter without the awful stuff.
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