Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-01-09

  • @deadzebra You’re living the future I dread. Currently streaming episode 2 of season 3. Terrified. in reply to deadzebra #
  • @asmadasbirds Presumptuous woman, Cameron’s charms worked on ME, so it does work. How can you resist his Growing Painsy style? How?? in reply to asmadasbirds #
  • The only thing that would up the thick, nightly fog that’s been hitting L.A is maggot-eyed pirate ghosts and John Carpenter synths. #
  • @asmadasbirds Not permeating is how it starts. It’s insidious in its genius. Next thing you know you’re playing the Left Behind video game in reply to asmadasbirds #
  • @asmadasbirds Video games AND creepy creationist propaganda? Of course I know of such a thing! Terrifying you is just a perk of my trade. in reply to asmadasbirds #
  • @warrenellis The new Doctor, eh? You’d better brush up on your goggle eyed expressions and psychotic mood swings. in reply to warrenellis #
  • Cleaning out the spit-valve on all of my drawing pencils is probably the least favorite part of my day, as my spit tends to burn and scar. #
  • I don’t know about you other artists out there, but I’m awful at cleaning out the fetid crumb pan under my drafting table. #
  • Neck crazy sore from using traditional eraser-sombrero. Neck hideously over-muscled now as a result. I hate the trappings of my trade. #
  • I feel like we’re really sharing something here, complete strangers I’d probably not let into my house. I really do. #
  • I regaled someone today with recollections of when the “curly fry” craze first started, detailing it’s spread across America. I hate myself #
  • I’m on the ledge of my building now, realizing what an empty, ineffective life I’ve led. I don’t even like curly fries. Fuck this world. #
  • Well, I jumped and died, but I regenerate, just like in that show, The Golden Girls, and now I’m all good, so you just relax already. Geez. #
  • I’m a bit worried that I got some genuine messages of concern for my “jumping due to curly fries” tweet. Come on, guys. Get off my bus. #
  • Alright, dropped those people off at the Humor Camp. The rest of you, coming with me for some hardcore hot dog water chugging action. #
  • I see some of you claim to not WANT to chug boiling hot dog water. Claim to be allergic, that you’ll “die”. Well tough shit, kids. CHUG. #
  • @rstevens I’m Mexican, which is pretty much the same as Polish and Irish, and I think you’re making it up, man. in reply to rstevens #
  • Everyone around me is sick and getting sicker. It’s tiresome. S’been like this since I escaped from that bio-warfare lab as a child #
  • I think it’s fantastic that drm free music is the norm on iTunes now, and that I can now pay more for it than on the Amazon mp3 store. #
  • @warrenellis ‘The Goat, the Bacon and the Dildo’ was my favorite golden book as a child. in reply to warrenellis #
  • Alright, guys. You can stop chugging hotdog water now. Frankly, the gagging sounds are making me sick, and the floor is all soggy. #
  • I said stop! No! Put that jug down! Oh, god, please stop! What have I done? What briny horror have I created here? Oh stinking world! #
  • Alright, guys. No more nonsensing about. From now on, this Twitter really is being used for purely factual, mind-numbing, personal info. #
  • I’m writing this from the can, by the way. Are you happy now? Are you happy that you have broken through and are knowing the real me? #
  • Mind you, it’s not like I’m actually USING the can (which I simply don’t anymore). I just sit on it, head in my hands, for hours, crying. #
  • Mind you, it isn’t a sorrowful crying, either. Nay, ’tis a joyful tear I shed for life is wonderful here in my bathroom. Just wonderful. #
  • Pondering the big questions while watching Beyond Thunderdome, like what my post-apocalyptic fashion sense would be. It’s important stuff. #
  • Would it be the armor made from tires? Doll parts? Samurai touches? Weighty Chain-mail? A midget on my back? Think about it, people. #
  • Don’t let the post-apocalypse catch you off guard. Figure out your style now and impress your friends and enemies with your foresight. #
  • I’d have body armor made from hand puppets I found in a bin at the Aquarium, and offset the affect with a helmet made from a gutted dwarf. #
  • Just brainstorming, though. I’m not settled on that last idea. How about you guys? #