Tag Archives: Twittin’s

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-01-19

  • Was with @cunch earlier and we followed a Mexican bus to the greyhound station in hopes of seeing Mexicans exiting on donkeys. They did not #
  • Have any enemies you'd like to hurt? Prep them with this http://bit.ly/17gCEo . If they still breath, finish it with http://bit.ly/68iMT #
  • Ya know, now that I think about it, I guess that last video is sorta the logical progression for the series after Spiderman 3. #
  • Two days to a deadline and I'm waiting for Colormonster to toss the file back my way. Drawing a wallpaper for my phone while I wait. #
  • Need monsters. How many of you are monsters? What are your special monster powers? Past experience as a monster? References? Referrals? #
  • Deadline hell, only worse, because I'm alive and not dead and in hell. I am alive and in hell. #
  • A new post, people. This one has Troll 2 in it. http://bit.ly/17XPus #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-03-27

  • Router must’ve been plugged into internet from an alternate reality where teaming up with 3 strangers on LIVE for some Nazi Zombies was fun. #
  • Making a helmet that fires scorpions into the face of everyone online with only imagination enough to write “I’m bored.” It’s orange. #
  • Helmet also has a switch for people that sign up for twitter and then immediately write about how stupid they think twitter is. #
  • The helmet drops off a 75 mob in Twittlazan, right by that area where the lobster tries to sell you some Rolos. #
  • @cunch I love that show. in reply to cunch #
  • @staceywatson Screaming into the darkness, indeed. Now fill a sack with Mimobots and leave them at the meeting place. I mean it. in reply to staceywatson #
  • @3liza I swore I wouldn’t pull off another heist, woman. Sure that cop had it comin’, but the kid? The kid didn’t have to die like that. in reply to 3liza #
  • Old news, but a new review and actually a pretty fine take on Jellyfist. It’s like I’m respectable, even: http://tinyurl.com/cax5zp #
  • @staceywatson That hurts my various feelings. I hope it was something amazing, at least. in reply to staceywatson #
  • @staceywatson Now I really want to know the story there. This sounds both amusing and infuriating. in reply to staceywatson #
  • I am afraid I am Duddits, guys. I…Duddits. #
  • Alright, Elaine, 100 more of you since yesterday. Last hundred are off boiler room duty. New Elaines grab a shovel and get to work. #
  • @rstevens I did. I did this while wearing my clothes three sizes too small for me, driving around on top of an R/C clown car. in reply to rstevens #
  • Inking some artwork to be auctioned off for Australian fire relief. Bring your wallets, you cheap jerks. I’m a humanitarian, see? #
  • @Venusbacchus Actually, the kids in the basement are the ones doing the artwork. I just beat and berate them until it’s done. in reply to Venusbacchus #
  • I dunno…there’s a lot of pressure on me for being maybe the nicest guy ever to exist. It’s not easy being like this. I can’t help it. #
  • I punch a guy in the face out of anger and, later, he finds that his facial cancer has been cured. Too nice, man. #
  • I slammed a baby against a tree, and out popped the Corn Nut I didn’t know it was choking on. Mother hugged me. A parade was held. Gah! #
  • I really wish they had left this scene in in ‘Babe: Pig in the City’ – http://tinyurl.com/c8jkyq #
  • Should I land safely, I’ll go from 15 hours of terror in the sky to sadness over the prospect of 2 weeks of paying for internet access. #
  • Just making sure before I take off tonight: Are emergency jetpacks standard on international flights yet? They are, right? Right? #
  • En route to airport. Hope the fact that I am mostly plutonium doesn’t slow me down at security. #
  • As a fine, cultured, traveler of worlds, I will settle for only the deepest, veiniest thrombosis. #
  • Plutonium was a problem. Security said it was too badass. I nodded solemly in agreement. #
  • Hate flying, and Seth Brundle’s too busy eating jam to perfect the telepods. Always the jam. #
  • Agreed to emergency exit seat. Was asked if I was a capable sort. Punched a hole through the wall as proof. There was applause. #
  • Apparently sleeping pills have no affect on me besides making me angrier. #
  • I am in internet hell, Elaine! Data caps, time limits, and expensive. I truly have gone beyond Thunderdome. #
  • I’ll try to update QuestionSleep as much as possible with very factual posts about my visit here. Expect lots of griping…and NUDITY. #
  • Someone give me a lift to Hanging Rock. I’ve got to see some wormholes about some Victorian era schoolgirls. #
  • Felt like an intruder in this strange place where I have no associations. Those girls eating churros on Lygon St were like aliens to me. #
  • What interesting stuff is there to do here if you’re not a big drinker and don’t like mad, bloody sex with slutty kangaroos? #
  • Without my consoles, I can only text with them back and forth from here, and Nazi Zombies via text is just a bit too old school for me. #
  • Wii messaged me, and apparently it got locked outside of the house and is being chewed on by the neighbor’s filthy, feral infant. #
  • PS3’s myspace has been updated with P.O.V photos, it’s hands visibly bloodied, slaughtered family in the bg. I should not have left. #
  • Australia: DAY ONE – http://tinyurl.com/clcucv #
  • Day two of game console withdrawal. A black ooze is seeping form my pores. Losing vital gamer-juice. #
  • Learned that the Australian accent, unlike the cleaned up for American tv version, is more like the shrill screech of an enraged barn owl. #
  • Wait…scratch that. Seems I was talking to a barn owl. Sorry, Australians. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-03-20

  • Leaving LA soon when it’s finally colder here to spend two weeks in hot, hot Australia. I had really better get to see a wombat. #
  • Did one half a of a two button set that @cunch might put up on her store if I don’t just keep them instead. It might be TOO amazing, dig? #
  • It’s like a big tidal wave of jam coming towards us, only it’s jam made of @Glinner tweets filling up my home page. #
  • According to @essrose, I’ll be greeted by Lord Humongous tossing leis out to all the passengers. This had better be true. #
  • @CapnWalrus @Glinner is the incredible machine built to make such shows as Father Ted and The IT Crowd, in reply to CapnWalrus #
  • @essrose THE Feral kid should also be there, throwing a boomerang at the waving passengers now and then, harvesting fingers. in reply to essrose #
  • @wefollow #comics #animation #art #
  • I’ll give any one of you 10,000 dollars if you survive a night in this hauuuunted house. You…or your next of kin. Muahahah and so on… #
  • And here comes our first brave soul and…Oh…oh, no. Ghost got’im in the face with a Barrett M107 sniper rifle. Supernature wins again. #
  • Another challenger lost after being repeatedly beaten about the head by a ghost’s Master Replicas Mace Windu saber. That one’s purple. #
  • No! Don’t try to rescue him! Yes, the ghosts have only shot him in the leg, but they’re using him as bait. Snipers will get you. Think! #
  • I’m wondering now if the difficulty setting on this haunted house isn’t a bit too high. No one’s even made it to the porch steps. #
  • The ghosts are using an RPG-7 to blow apart passing cars while they wait for people to try to enter the house. Definitely challenging. #
  • Yep, @sindermann is not far off when referring to this place as “The Ninja Gaiden of haunted houses.” #
  • Challengers have slowed. Raising the award to $50,000, a tour of of the acid vat and my Vincent Pricey mustache. C’mon. Tour my stache. #
  • Surveying the carpet of fresh, bullet-ridden corpses around the house, I’m a bit sorry I initiated this haunted challenge. Sorry, guys. #
  • I just…I guess I didn’t count on the ghosts being so well armed. Was expecting some old-timey chains rattling, not .50 Cals and such. #
  • Just edited the wee video I made of J.R. Goldberg drawing her half of our button set. My glorious return to Final Cut Pro. #
  • The SciFi channel without BSG’ll be like the person you keep around just for screwing having their pelvis fall off. #
  • All the hipsters gathering at SXSW gets me thinking of Poe’s ‘Hop-Frog’ a bit. Should be easy enough to get them into orangutan costumes. #
  • Wanna see a lil video I made of J.R painting a tiny “thing”? Sure ya do. http://tinyurl.com/cwt9og #
  • Following up ‘Phantom of the Paradise’ with ‘Tommy’. It’s a night of grotesque musicals. #
  • @essrose No. I don’t even have a joke for that. Just no. in reply to essrose #
  • @3liza That’s why I only bullshit instead of regaling you with what celebs I am eating sandwiches with, or what toilet I’m sitting on. in reply to 3liza #
  • @3liza Sorry. I meant what toilets I am eating and what celebs I am SHITTING IN. in reply to 3liza #
  • @joeledbetter Never watched an episode but beating the living shit out of terrorists while I work amounts to the same, I think. in reply to joeledbetter #
  • Elaine, I think we need to have a talk. There’s maybe too many of you now to sustain with the supplies we have. Some of you need to die. #
  • Australian adventure is nigh, Elaine. Don’t forget to spare me the pain of live question taking: http://tinyurl.com/cyyu9d #
  • Not sure which culling technique to use for Elaine. Logan’s Run style might work, but installing gems into people is a bit of effort. #
  • What other famous herd-thinning tactics from books and movies might work best here? Elaine will suggest things now. #
  • Shirley Jackson getting a lot of love in these suggestions. That warms my heart crumbs. Continue! #
  • Coming in a close second is ‘The Most Dangerous Game’, based on an Ice T, Rutger Hauer duet, I believe. #
  • I know, left to my own devices, I’d still want my tax dollars helping Dreamworks’ latest trash to hit it big: http://tinyurl.com/cfxr22 #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-03-13

  • @asmadasbirds I go out of my way to make sure I sit next to you on flights while wearing my best sandals and shorts and you say this now? in reply to asmadasbirds #
  • Check out my new, real-world, constantly updated, projected onto the sky webcomic about passing clouds. Go on. Look up. That’s me. #
  • Cynics say I.Q’s are dropping all around, but one look at today’s youth and hope just skyrockets. http://tinyurl.com/daeubk #
  • So, I’m sitting here, just relaxing and smoking up some premium Smarties, and I’m thinking life’s not so bad. This shit is good. #
  • Should I be happy that so many people headed my instructions to not ask HORRIBLE questions resulting in me getting almost NO questions? #
  • The obvious answer is yes, but the deeper implications are devastating. #
  • Saw a guy EATING Smarties, and not smoking them. I almost through up, but started choking on Smarties dust for about 20 minutes. #
  • Almost THREW up. The ‘through’ was a side effect of the Smarties, man. This shit’ll fuck you up. Don’t end up like me, you awful people. #
  • But thanks to the people who think I actually dunno which word was meant to be there. You guys are doing the Lord’s work…I guess. #
  • I picture them getting updates with typos on their phone, doing cartoonish spit takes, and pulling over in traffic to point out mistakes. #
  • “This shall not stand!”, they cry out as the car plows through a mail box, tapping on their phones with terrible intensity. #
  • Having done the deed, a heavy COD4 guitar riff signifies that they’ve just leveled up from all the XP. New perks have been unlocked! #
  • You guys need a name. Like a collective name to make referring you lousy lot all at once a simpler thing. Considering the options now… #
  • Ooh…best suggestion, from a follower no less: “CUNTS” #
  • Might make it a monthly thing, coming up with a new collective name. Not going with “cunts”, by the way. Too regal. #
  • “Pedantic Twats” only covers a small portion of you, so no there. Reserving that for special occasions, though, as it’s too sexy to ignore. #
  • Your collective name for the month of March is “Elaine”. Carry on. #
  • This new post glows in the dark! http://tinyurl.com/bp7tnj #
  • @3liza So….a “Dooky”? in reply to 3liza #
  • @alienkid Random’s for grade-school amateurs. Controlled absurdity is where the magic is. Still, smoking Smarties is beyond my power. in reply to alienkid #
  • @3liza I’ll have Stan Grossman look at you’re proposal. Looks pretty sweet. in reply to 3liza #
  • @cunch ‘Slitstream’ in reply to cunch #
  • @3liza Pink taco sauce. in reply to 3liza #
  • @3liza Actually just ‘taco sauce’. Has a better flow. in reply to 3liza #
  • @3liza I’d imagine those are meat curtains that you choke on. in reply to 3liza #
  • Anyone have a spare sack of US to Australian power adapters? Thanks. #
  • Thanks, Elaine. You’ve been most helpful. #
  • @enicolle Thanks, but I’m still trying to use up the ones I already have. in reply to enicolle #
  • I name you after the honorable Elaine Riddick Jessie and your only point of reference is Seinfeld? Turn your televisions off, Elaine. #
  • @rstevens You’re saying that The Search for Spock was better than The Wrath of Khan? Is that what I’m reading there? in reply to rstevens #
  • @rstevens Wait…are you now saying that USB 3 is Christopher Lloyd, and USB 2 is The Montalban? in reply to rstevens #
  • @3liza Genital definition is precisely what I’m lacking. I never get picked out during police lineups for my genital transgressions. in reply to 3liza #
  • ‘Genital Transgressions’ is my punk band’s name, by the way. #
  • Because videos like this bring joy, and quality beeps: http://tinyurl.com/abp3bx #
  • The Wii moans feebly under the game cabinet, drowned out by the airliner whine of the reinstated 360. Its time is short. #
  • Wii cries out that Mad World is now in stores. 360 distracts me with a “Dickensian Achievement” for watching Bleak House on Netflix. #
  • Pssst. Hey, Elaine, @cunch has new stuff up at her store. Times are hard, so be a hobo with neat goods: http://tinyurl.com/cl2qgf #
  • Thought I’d take Wii for a walk as it doesn’t get much air these days. Barely out the door and it got jumped by a possum. #
  • Not so much in retaliation but out of its terrible need for blood, the PS3 flew out, paralyzed the possum, desiccating it in seconds. #
  • My kingdom for an iphone app development team. My kingdom, however, is currently a refrigerator box. It does have a moat, though. #
  • @cunch bringing her button maker over today. Unlike most modern types, this one is a tiny, functional dinosaur like in the Flintstones. #
  • Post: Elderly Bits: MSI Motion Test – http://tinyurl.com/asy452 #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-03-06

  • “I…just want…augh…to KILL! Why I…not shoot…Helghast…with…bluuugh…ease?” Rico then comes up, tears in eyes, and shoots you. #
  • Just as the Wii was feeling loved after all that HOTD:Overkill, the 360 came back from repairs, kicked it in the crotch and tea-bagged it. #
  • Now I generally don’t condone that sort of nonsense, but I had been suffering from Nazi Zombies withdrawal so I let it slide this one time. #
  • @rstevens I’m just waiting for The Diamond Age style primers. My genteel lady side needs some serious polish. in reply to rstevens #
  • @enicolle It’s true, though. Every single thing SLG puts out officially falls under the category of “SQUEE! stuff”. in reply to enicolle #
  • @enicolle Trust me, man. People like that, NOT my minions. But you sure as hell can have fun abusing that character flaw in them! in reply to enicolle #
  • @enicolle “Jhonen says that walking into traffic is HEE-LARIOUS.” or “Jhonen thinks jumping the safety barriers at the zoo is AWESOME.” #
  • Figures the design team for Mirror’s Edge is Swedish. You want beautifully inhuman, stark utopia, you get yerself some Swedes. Lovely. #
  • Haven’t been that in love with a game environment in a long time. A world where people have designed the humanity out of everything. #
  • The game actually took me back to my days playing Flashback on the Genesis, that aching feeling for just being someplace “other”. #
  • @MyBees PS3 version, and I flew through that game. I can see why a lot of people would have trouble, but they have canned hams for hands. in reply to MyBees #
  • I’ve accomplished a lot in my time, but can’t shake the growing dread that I’ll never be given the proper respect I deserve as a gangsta. #
  • Again and again I have proven myself in “das hood”, passed all the trials. Have I not slain a Khorgon: the multi-nutted? Am I not mighty? #
  • I drink more soothing gangsta-tea than any chumples I know, and yet I am still living on the fringe side of the gangs I yearn to lead. #
  • I alone wear sash of fallen homey skins formed of the still screaming faces of those who opposed me, and STILL I am am utterly be-dissed. #
  • My “homeboy”, Sleepy Tea, would always be by my side, calming my nerves when “the shit” went down, or when too many “quotations” were used. #
  • Did Spooky’s parents have a secret baby and not tell me about it?? http://tinyurl.com/cuerzt #
  • Tonight, on a very special episode of A NEW POST. http://tinyurl.com/cyyu9d #
  • @SLGPublishing Yep. Everyone knows I started Hot Topic with my own bare feet and made a bunch of idiots dress poorly. My bad, guys. in reply to SLGPublishing #
  • @warrenellis I just ate an entire box of Teddy Grahams in EIGHT minutes, and I’d be all sweaty if not for the absorbent layer of crumbs. in reply to warrenellis #
  • A great deal of the awesome came from the aural atmosphere dreamed up by Solar Fields. http://tinyurl.com/bb8zd5 #
  • Sleepy Tea’s index finger is a spout through which piping hot herbal tea pours. Sleepy Tea has disfigured many a friend. I’m cool so far. #
  • Hey, Londoners…ya know, Australia likes me more, apparently, flying me out for a chat. I’m not hurt…just sayin’. Snif… #
  • Meant ‘Brits’ instead of Londoners, I did. I was typing while writhing in agony from Sleepy Tea pointing at me. God I love him. #
  • Working on a mockup for the Question Sleep site’s webstore. The sawdust in the air from all the designing is killing me. #
  • Ugh…cut my thumb on the bandsaw working on a banner image. This just isn’t my thing, man. Not my thing at all. #
  • There has got to be an easier way of changing background colors than all of this sanding, right? I’m choking on browser dust. #
  • Has everyone noticed that Aaron Alexovich is now using this twitter technology? Fall prey to his charms at @essrose and know his power. #
  • @fredrin Uh..muh..guh. When I did it it was nice, but you doing it just looks mean. You’re a monster, man. A monster. in reply to fredrin #
  • @fredrin No worries, man. I can see you just fine. I can see…everything…just…fine. in reply to fredrin #
  • All the other villains have holed up in cool abandoned amusement parks or toy factories, leaving me with just the old tuna canning plant. #
  • @rstevens I just want to go to sleep, but all I have to sleep on is PIZZA. in reply to rstevens #
  • Pretty much resigned to commanding the “evil” henchmen to canning tuna, as it’s all they do regardless of what I command. #
  • Even in the most diabolical of times, I’m pretty much just overcharging for very regular cans of not at all evil cans of tuna. I dunno, man #
  • Fuck. My tuna’s really taking off and I’m legitimately making a living. This isn’t how it was supposed to go at all. #
  • @enicolle Dude, there’s a bunch of old ladies and children singing in front of the cannery, thanking me for reviving the town’s economy. in reply to enicolle #