Tag Archives: shirts

QUESTION SLEEP SKULL shirts at TopatoCo!



These Question Sleep Skull shirts went up on the TopatoCo store this past week and just in time for some of you guys who I threw acid on and ruined all your nice shirts. These are nice shirts, and maybe they’re even acid proof (they are not acid proof).

Comes in two colors and will keep you safe from all harm (no). I have no idea why one shirt is a quarter more than the other, but that maybe makes it more special, or maybe you wear one for more casual events and then the more expensive grey on grey one to those fancy cotillions you go to.



NOODLECON Shirts for Everyone!


Holy shit!  They said the day would never come but I didn’t believe them?  Remember how I kept telling you I didn’t believe them and you thought I was crazy to have hope in my heart when everyone was giving up and laughing at me?  Well who’s laughing now, buddy?

Noodlecon shirts are available for everyone now, and not just the people who bought them at the San Diego Comicon!  I know!  It’s impossible, right?  WRONG!  I can prove it to you!  Just throw some money at Slave Labor Graphics and they’ll fire one at you, straight through your wall and into your face.

No, this is not a dream.  This is really happening.

Oh my god, I can’t even keep talking about this.  I’m going to go eat a bowl of these delicious shirts because wearing them isn’t enough.  This shirt has to travel THROUGH me.

Every dollar you spend on these shirts goes straight to my pants.  Okay, it goes to buying pants because I’m not wearing any pants and it’s not pretty.

Please help.



That special noodle time is upon us again when Happy Noodle Boy fans across the world, from land, air or sea, gather under a urine-soaked freeway overpass and celebrate Noodle Boy in the only way they know how – URINATING!

This time we’ve learned our lesson, thanks to your complaints in previous years, and we’ve made the commemorative shirts wearable by human beings instead of just snakes and pigeons!  That’s right, if you’re a person now you can get in on the shirt-wearing action.

This shirt has four holes for your body to stick out from!

The fine folks at Slave Labor Graphics have generously volunteered their fruit rollup machine to print up these excellent, slightly sticky t-shirts for all you NoodleCon attendees to purchase and wear while fighting off ants and fruit-snack loving children.

Can’t attend NoodleCon 2012?  You’re a goddamned asshole!  Whatever your reasons, there’s always the San Diego Comicon where the shirts will also be available at the Slave Labor Graphics booth  #1815.  I’ll even be there to sign the shirts so long as you stand at least ten feet away from me while I’m doing so.  Can’t make it to even that?  No worries, you’ll be able to find the shirts available on SLG’s online store shortly after comicon has come and gone.  We’ll let you know when!

That’s right! We got THAT guy, and that other mushy one!


I think it was around a year ago that I was contacted by Threadless Tees about doing something for them.  Upon hearing just what it was they wanted me to do I threw up and suggested something less awful, possibly my doing some shirts with them and they agreed, but to this day, whenever I see their reps at conventions or at the T-shirt clubs, they give me the creepster eye, leering lasciviously at my beautiful ears.

Eventually, Threadless asked me to do one of their Comics on Tees series, and so I did, employing the freakishly talented help of Ethan Nicolle, JR. Goldberg, and Becky Cloonan.  I had just seen 13 Assassins, the Miike remake, and one by one, I collected each of those artists, convincing them that what I wanted to do was right and just and bloody-minded.  They agreed, except for Cloonan, who swore never to kill again.  I assure her that no blood would be shed in the making of these shirts, lying through my teeth.

If you don’t know anything about these Comics on Tees things, it basically goes something like this.  Someone, me in this case, thinks up a sort of script that would be told over the course of four shirts, and then four artists illustrate said script, each getting a shirt (issue).  Pretty straightforward.

My series, MAKING FRIENDS IS EASY,  is about an inventor recounting the various robots she has built.  That’s all.  What more you need besides robots, though?  The shirts are available over at Threadless and you should probably feel like a complete jerk for not already buying it.  Psh…
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JTHM shirt now available for the rest of mankind



That JTHM shirt that was available only at the San DIego Comicon is now up in SLG’s webstore for all the people of Earth to enjoy.  No longer will you feel only anger and jealousy for those that attended Comicon!  Raise your stupid fists in victory and bring them down on the following link to be launched directly at the store!


MEATGHOST Shirts Now Exist!

Don't pretend your not scared. Come on.

Remember a while back I told you there were Meatghost shirts on the way, and you were so excited you camped out in front of the Best Buy waiting to be the first to buy one?  I didn’t have the heart to tell you they’d just be available online when they were available, and, frankly, I just found it weird and upsetting that you’d just do something like that no questions asked anyhow.

Well, the Meatghost shirts are finally here!  This time it’s an actual thing and not one of the countless, horrible lies I’m constantly firing off at you!  Can you believe it?!

I don’t want to exaggerate the power of these shirts, people, but they can stop death.  I won’t get any further into that, but just know you’ll never die once you wear this shirt.  I’ve said too much.

The first ten million people to buy five shirts each get free nightmares about being chased  by a sentient bulldozer the very night you receive your shirts.

Grab your spectral meat attire over at TopatoCo now!



Rikki Simons’s pumpkin last Halloween was inspired by Meatghost.  Check it out:

BOooOoo! I'm a ghoOOost...made of meat, except it's pumpkin meeeeAaat.

New shirts for those afflicted with nudity!

If you’re a regular follower on Twitter you’d know that you probably regret adding me on Twitter.  You’d also be familiar with the fact that each month I name my collective followers something new.

I was overwhelmed by the one or two people begging me to make shirts based on these names and so this month marks the beginning of the Twitter Name of the Month Collection.

This month sees the arrival of the FILTHY DICKENS shirts, complete with flies to mark you as just the sort of fragrant type who’d wear the thing.

Rather than going with a print on demand type of thing such as a Cafe Press, Question Sleep, in association with me, in association with nothing sensible, has teamed up with the fine people at TopatoCo to produce these shirts for the month the name is still active.  I’ll tell you why.

Would you pay over 20 bucks for a shirt that says “Filthy Dickens”?  I sure as hell wouldn’t, and I’d feel even worse asking fans of either filth or Dickens to pay it.  Never had any reason to investigate those p.o.d shirt companies, but for something fast and dirty like a name of the month shirt, the costs versus quality were just silly.  Enter TopatoCo and their ability to make much finer quality items at less of a cost to you, the fine, topless reader in serious need of frivolous garments.

Only downside to this is that, since it’s not a print on demand setup, pre-orders have to be made to give them time to make enough shirts for the people that actually want them, limiting the time you can actually buy them to just about a week!  Get your asses over there quickly so you can hover your mouse cursor over the “add to cart” button, decide you’d rather actually “eat this week” and then move on

June’s name of the month, GOATSPLOSION, however, is a special case and will stick around for a bit, as it seems to have captured the hearts and minds of the people, all of them clamoring to own a piece of this awesome band that doesn’t actually exist.  Get your stinkin’ GOATSPLOSION July tour shirts, yeah?  I made that thing with no small amount of help from Eliza Gauger.  We both hope you make our long hours of screaming back and forth at each other over instant messenger worth it.

There’s a hoodie version, you know, if you’re the type with something to hide.

One neat feature of the TopatoCo site is the option to send in photos of yourself wearing their shirts, so be sure to take advantage of that.  I’m not sure, but I think any photos of you wearing GOATSPLOSION stuff require you to be throwing devil horns.

PEE ESS:  The Crazy Vee’s shop on ToptoCo is kind of a separate entity from my $Z.99 shop, selling mostly things related to my Twitter account and such!  $Z.99 is a fancier place, requiring you to wear shoes and already HAVE shirts before entering.