Dingy dingy dingy dingy! BOOOOOF! zzzuuuUHHHHHHHH.
Number nine. Number nine. Number nine…
Hahah! Get it? Neither do I.
Alright, moving on.
The response these posts are getting has been overwhelming, becoming increasingly unpopular in ways I could never have anticipated! So I’ll do my best to keep it up and you just keep slumping more and more unpleasantly in your chair until I’ve no voice left from screaming and ranting incessantly and you’re just a dust covered skeleton collapsed around that lawn chair you’ve been fusing to the past week or so.
I’ve gotta say, however, that I’m a bit disturbed by what some people are starting to say about my humanitarian efforts to enlighten some folks, that I am perhaps making some of this stuff up, not sticking entirely to the facts.
ME. Making things up. ME!!
When I’m feeling down, and nothing seems to be going my way, there are few things anyone can do to lift my spirits. Most friends know not to try unless they dig having burning pea-soup style vomit spewed all over them, like in that scene with the priest exorcising the demons from whatserface in that movie, ‘Annie’.
But there are some things that work: People in animal mascot costumes getting hurt to the point of unconsciousness, not at all convincing fake bodies in movies standing in for real people, and the little doodles people draw in the corners and edges of their sketchbooks that are usually way more interesting than the main attractions.
And then there’s this. This… indescribable sonic dagger you hear before you. No idea where it came from originally, but J.R. Goldberg passed it along to me long ago after receiving it from a dying uncle who swore listening to the song granted you magic powers, or killed you seven days after listening to it or something. Not sure which.
I hope you feel better now. Or dead.