I don’t even know why we have Halloween anymore when I pretty much made it as scary as possible years and years ago! Seriously…give up trying to beat these chills, Halloweens.
Number nine. Number nine. Number nine…
Hahah! Get it? Neither do I.
Alright, moving on.
The response these posts are getting has been overwhelming, becoming increasingly unpopular in ways I could never have anticipated! So I’ll do my best to keep it up and you just keep slumping more and more unpleasantly in your chair until I’ve no voice left from screaming and ranting incessantly and you’re just a dust covered skeleton collapsed around that lawn chair you’ve been fusing to the past week or so.
I’ve gotta say, however, that I’m a bit disturbed by what some people are starting to say about my humanitarian efforts to enlighten some folks, that I am perhaps making some of this stuff up, not sticking entirely to the facts.
ME. Making things up. ME!!
I should be working right now, but I thought I’d take a little break to share with you, the horrid reader, the story of how I recently came upon an ancient artifact of mine long thought lost to time and space, like the Ark of the Covenant, only instead of me finding it locked up in an enormous government warehouse filled with countless treasures and plunder, I found it someplace much more awesome.