Still on the fence as to whether or not you should get the new Noodlecon 2012 shirt for you and your loved ones? That makes us here at Question Sleep incredibly angry, but we’re also very understanding and want to know you’re a hundred percent confident in your money-wasting decisions…
SO LET US HELP YOU!
What better way to see just how much you need this shirt than to show you how much people who already own the shirt are enjoying that very shirt and having their lives changed in ways they could only dream of before joining this exclusive club comprised of everyone else on the planet except for your indecisive self!
Those look like happy customers to us! It was important that they pay because, even though they were helping us in our research, how can we study the effects on customers if our test subjects weren’t doing everything customers do? They were great sports about it and any guilt we might’ve had just vanished at the sight of the wonderful looks on their faces at being some of the very first people to wear the shirt.
Day 2 and subject #001 isn’t feeling well, spends a great deal of this day sitting in the park trying to work out just what is happening to her. Subject #002 exhibits a less physical response but is clearly impaired psychologically. When we caught up with him he was furiously berating beans in a grocery store.
Day 3. SUCCESS! We think the case for why these shirts are so amazing is made clear, and if you’re not running for your credit cards then we don’t think the proof exists that’d top what we’ve already laid out for you!
Now we don’t want to go too in depth about the science behind how this modern marvel works, but here’s a quick computer simulation to help demonstrate the basic operation. It should be obvious that the more people who wear the shirt, the more power is drained out of their bodies and channeled towards a more deserving parasite/beneficiary. WHAT’RE YOU WAITING FOR?!
The shirts will be available this month from Slave Labor Graphics!