Category Archives: Cinema

Tran vs. Fruit Hat. WHO WILL WIN?

Chickens.  Wieners.  Horror.

Chickens. Wieners. Horror.

For the past few years, I’ve been keeping a woman prisoner in my basement.  Isn’t that awesome?  Anyhow, starting right around when I first met “Martha”, I started up a bit of a tradition at my San Diego Comicon visits, and that was to always check out the premiers of Breehn Burns’ latest animated shorts.  If you don’t know Dr. Tran, then take a moment to acquaint yourself in the wondrous lore of that world.  We’ll all wait for you, since having your ignorant self along for this post is, frankly, a bit embarrassing and we’re all trying really hard to pretend you’re not one of the most awful people we have ever met.

Start here with the original: Here Comes Dr. Tran

Okay, I guess you’re a little better now, but stay the fuck off the carpet and don’t you dare make eye contact, yeah?

Anyhow, This past Comicon, sadly, I missed Breehn’s latest, but thanks to the wonders of modern Youtubery we can all enjoy this latest chapter in the Tran saga, and it’s got a fruit hat this time around, so you just know it’s good, right?  Fruit.  Hats.  Fruitbats.

Well, we all just watched it, right?  I gotta say, I shat myself I was so afraid of that hat, but when it turned out to be a chicken, I had flashbacks to that M. Night Shamlamlaml movie where the ghost actually turned out to be old Mr. Whatsisface, the amusement park owner being buried by his mortgage looking for a way out of his financial hell.  How many movies have I seen now where the hat was actually just a chicken?  Fuck you, Breehn.

P.S: ROYBERTITOS!

Facebook: Terminator Salvation was Right.

No discretion.  No dignity.  No pants.

Your average social networking site.

•SPOILER ALERT•

At maybe the lowest point in Terminator: Salvation, the guy who’s really an android, the guy who is part of the only real surprise in the movie that was ruined by the trailers that were much better than the actual movie, that guybot confronts Skynet itself and discovers it’s actually Helena Bonham Carter’s weird, glossy head on a futuristic screen.  You know it’s a futuristic screen because in the future all video cables are made of cobbled together garbage, thus ensuring that the video image looks terrible and sputters a whole lot.  Shoulda spent that extra ten thousand dollars for a 4ft hdmi Monster Cable at Best Buy, huh Skynet?  Huh?  Thought so.
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