So last month, maybe two months ago (hard to keep track of time when you’re thousands of years old, get what I’m sayin’?) 2K games sends out one of those probes, not unlike the one they send down to Hoth at the start of Empire. I fucking LOVED that probe when I was a kid, all the arms and the lenses – it was pretty much my kind of probe, ya know?
Anyhow, the 2K probe showed up and asked if I’d be interested in doing one of those Xbox Live things where you play a certain game with fans, in this case playing Bioshock 2 with people. Now, if you’re in the know, which you are (this is where I ruffle your hair good-naturedly, then wink at you and creep the living fuck out of you) you know that I’m kind of known for being somewhat bemused by the general perception of my fans. I’m not exactly known for having a huge audience of gamers so much as I am for attracting people who were apparently taken over by parasites that only now forming the connections to their hosts’ communication centers.
That’s not saying they’re all like that! It’s just that there are so many that those are the ones that make the most noise when I say things like “Some of these people make me sick to my stomach” or other such passing comments based on HARD FACT. And a few are gamers, even! That group of folks that showed up at PAX – awesome people. Lovely, polite, and either uninfected or inhabited by parasites that have been around long enough to be able to convey thoughts and ideas without making everyone around them incredibly uncomfortable! Man…I miss those people.
But then I got to thinking about it: What if the people I end up playing with ARE the hideous ones, the ones that think that everything I say or do is a reference to my own work, as if I am constantly bathing in a stew of self reference? The object of the game is to light these people on fire and shoot them in the face! What better matchup, what better pairing of differing aspirations?!
So I said yes and I’m sure it’ll be fine and I’m sure I’ll get my bloody ass kicked bloody because I’m not that good at the multiplayer in that game from what I have experienced. I’ve played it a bit and it’s a more old-school, bang your dead before you turn around to see who is filling you with lead kind of game. But I hope to get in a few lucky shots.
Still, I’m not entirely sure how this whole thing is supposed to go down. I had assumed it would be me in a lobby of constantly rotating fans, going into matches and then playing a different group each time. But I realize that that’s not how Xbox Live works. There’s no real way to mediate this other than to do it myself, so that’s going to be a bit odd and somewhat clumsy the way I am thinking of it. If I accept a game invite, will I simply be playing with that one person that invited me as well as a bunch of people who don’t necessarily want to play with me but have been thrown into the mix by the matching process?
And if I am in a party, and invite people that have sent friend requests, do I tell them all to leave after each match and then fill it with more people? Very time consuming if that’s the case. Now I wonder how all those other luminaries feature on the dashboard have dealt with this and other mysteries.
Ah, well. I’ll tell you how it went down after it goes down later tonight. Back to work.